Yesterday afternoon, I finally turned my phone on to see a text message from K. K said, "What are you doing tonight?" to which I replied: "Drinking alone and wallowing in self pity"... To that she responded, "Like hell you are!". Just about that same time, Lisa called and said that I had to get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay. Lisa insisted that it was time to motivate myself to get out and about - and so I obliged.
Believe me when I say that I had to pump myself up for this. It was tough - but, I agreed and did some serious make-up and hair trickery.
I first went to see K at a shindig she was at before going to Lisa's thingie. I had WAY TOO MUCH champagne, but I was a VIP with Lisa and got to hang behind the ropes with the big guy deciding who got in and who didn't. Lisa spent the night making sure I had a great time, and to her I am grateful.
I had a great time - however, in the midst of my champagne induced stupor, I made A LOT of phone calls and left many voice mails to $#%&. I know, I know. I shouldn't have done it - but I did. I don't remember all of the messages I had left, but I know they were pathetic.
He never called. Not once. No texts. No emails. Not even one to say "Stop calling me". Nothing.
You have made yourself very clear mister man --- I am sorry it took me so long to catch on. Don't worry, I will no longer bother you. Not once.
I believe that he never cared - that I was screwed..... My eyes are open now. I will not be blinded by you anymore - I see your truth.
Thank you Lisa and K for getting me out and about.. for getting me off my pathetic ass to live again.
2005 is going to be a great year. I refuse mediocrity. This is my year dammit!!!!!
